Stupidest DMs From The Last Month on Twitter

August 13, 2009

As you can probably tell if you follow me on Twitter, I’m on a rampage about Twitter spam. Right now, I’m rather fed up with it.

Today, I thought I would highlight some of the lamest DMs I have gotten in the last 30 days on Twitter. I have removed the links so as not to give them any free promotion on my blog.

I just took “What song is your life?” and got: Fall For You …by Secondhand Serenade! Try it: [link]

No.

I just gave you “Good Luck”! Check it out: [link] You should send me a gift back ;)

How about I publicly humiliate you instead? :)

yo. retweet this!!! [link] Make $ Online!

You, sir, are an idiot.

Save money by purchasing from Amazon.com,Ebay,SONY,Rental DvD’s,Low priced Holidays & others at: [link]

That’s great. You immediately introduce yourself to me by spamming me. Another idiot. Clearly.

The automatic way of getting 16,000 followers fast. [link]

Loser.

just gave sunshine to @davidrisley! You should send me a gift ;) [link]

Blow that sunshine out your butt. K, thanks.

we help people build significant incomes so that they can take control of their lives. we work with an ethical, solid,international company

I don’t follow “we”’s on Twitter. I follow people. Try being a person first. And one with something unique to offer because EVERYBODY is helping people build their incomes these days. Why should I listen to you?

et @AgelessSkin is glad to expose you to the top SkinCare line on the market today. Get flawless skin from our products and fill your bank

Clearly a result of auto-follow. Do I look like I’m interested in skin care?

Hey! So cool you follow me! Thx a million! My tweets will be a treat. Check this for starters! [link]

Seems a little conceited, no?

Hey, I just added you to my Mafia family. Please accept my invitation! :) Click here: [link]

Is that supposed to be an offer I can’t refuse? Because I just did.

I think we need filtering on direct messages. It might even be a superb idea for Twitter to place limits on the API so that direct messages cannot be sent. It is just asking to be used for DM spam.

And all these “gifts” on Twitter? Is Twitter going to turn into Facebook, where I constantly get stupid digital crap from my “friends”? I don’t need a digital picture of a flower, ok? And I definitely don’t need some idiot on Twitter sending me “sunshine”, ok?

Should I calm down now? ;)

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  • Hey Dave, you wanna work on that negativity of yours ;-)
  • A dude has to vent sometimes. What better place than on my own blog, right? :)
  • There is definitely no better place to vent than your own blog. That's what it is for... well sorta ;)

    I really like this one: "Hey! So cool you follow me! Thx a million! My tweets will be a treat. Check this for starters! [link]"
  • Dude ... I LOVE it!

    Freaking hilarious!

    Almost spilled my coffee because I was laughing so hard.

    Thanks for waking me up man,

    Ryan
  • Totally awesome post! I love it! Some DM's are so ludicrous, it's not even funny - I mean, really - do they think we're going to just get all excited - believe their bunk - and happily click through like stoopid lemmings??
  • Wow...great list. Very funny.

    I'm going to post this in a few places. I think some of these guys are incorrectly following some program they got and don't get the etiquette of social media...

    Hmmm. I think I will write an article today on that today!
  • Lori
    It's like those small road signs "make $5,000 a week and never leave your house!" Don't you think if this was possible, why would you tell anyone else how to do it, if it wasn't anything BUT a pyramid scheme?! I'd personally keep that kind of info to myself instead of putting out tiny signs by the roadway.
  • I like how you mention this but I didn't realize this is a bad thing because I've read in many different places how this is a great place to advertise to your followers. Of course my add is very relevant to what I tweet about and I wouldn't consider my ad spam because it goes back to one of my sites. What do you suggest when it comes to DMs?
  • LOL :) There is definitely humor in all the crap that flies around on Twitter. I got half these myself as well. It seems sunshine and mafia invites are pretty easy to come by these days.
  • bobhereyo
    What is meaningful about you going to the dentist Dave?
  • I sense much anger in you... Keep at it! Remember, you have to get it ALL out.;)
  • My personal favorite that I received a couple of weeks ago (probably an auto-follow) is

    "Twalk to you later. But don't you dare click on my site [link]"

    Don't worry. I had no intentions of it. :)
  • I can honestly say that I have yet to receive a sincere DM on Twitter. I don't even open them up any more.
  • I love Twitter DM's, I do all of my follows by hand, but a DM will let me know if I accidentally followed the wrong person.
  • Too funny you don't need to stop, sad but true. I had a auto DM turned on for a little bit then realized it what I was sending was pointless. I am still learning alot about twitter but seems all the above is also in my DM list. At least is seem twitter is taken some action from time to time to deal with all the robot messages but spam is out of control. Arn't you in Flordia the sunshine state. I think you have enough sunshine don't need twitter for some more. Thanks for making me laugh.
  • I got it! They want you to get angry and than you will beg for they superb skin care products!!! Just ignore them… I know that annoying,… but there is nothing we can do… there are always be spammers…
  • David,

    now why would you list ALL of my tweets in this post? LOL

    Seriously, somebody should start a "Hall Of Shame" Tweet category.
  • Haha, now that is classic :) Thanks for the laugh Jimi Jones
  • Yep, I definitely think Twitter will turn into facebook - annoying groups, stupid apps, endless spam etc etc - I mean, you have to expect it when a site like this gets so unbelievably popular....I just hope the Twitter creators learn from what currently annoys people on Facebook & Myspace etc and don't repeat it on Twitter!
  • I noticed a few people auto tweet all their dm's to their users, I just wondered if anyone knew what app they used for this?
  • imbuzzrichesbonus
    Well, that explains the lengths people are willing to go through just so they humiliate themselves and show their ignorance, lol! :)
  • jonathanwg
    LOL Just totally agree with all this.

    I have 37,000 plus followers and so I'm besieged with "I just gave you xxxxx, you should give me one back :) "

    WTF????

    So fine brother

    Jonathan
  • Some classic examples of the current Twitter spam explosion. Somehow reading them highlighted here amuses rather than annoys me though, so thanks for the giggle.
  • shankerbakshi
    "Hey, I just added you to my Mafia family" Thats a DM i received couple of time this week. This guy is doing hard i guess.
  • My favorites are the ones where they DM you saying, "easy way to get thousands of new followers!" and then you see that they have like 100 followers. And I'm supposed to take you seriously?
  • Thanks Dave- after repeatedly talking about how important Twitter is, you're reconfirming my reasons for NOT having it... it's hard enough to concentrate on getting anything done without mindless interruptions like these or "just walking out of the grocery story" Who cares?
  • trentonjnunnally
    David I like you, because you tell us what we need to know, and you keep it real. Keep up the good work. To all the want to be bloggers, be a real person, don't try to fake it till you make it. If you do, this is the wrong business for you, so get it right, and get your profits right .
  • When I get into a mood to write stuff like this I know it's time to go surfing!

    Then stupid DMs don't even matter!
  • I guess my most popular ones was

    "I just gave your Corona!" Well as a European I enjoy a good beer, but my DMs is not the place to share this with me...

    "I just gave you High Five"... huh?

    "I just gave you Best Of Luck".... luck might be nice when I play the lottery and at the casino which happens once in a blue moon... most of my efforts is based on hard work and follow proven techniques like your training David..

    First I thought these DMs might have been sent out by a newbie. We all have done mistakes like these. Or I thought maybe someone had signed up to fast for a program that sent out spams to all their followers. Some of us has done that too.

    But then I went into a couple of the profiles and did see that this pattern seemed to be a trend among those profiles.

    So now I treat them like you David - as spams...

    Cheers.. Are
  • Funny, I got the same messages... Do we really have the same friends ? [joke]
  • davidmo
    Hah, seems like they need better moron filters. Can you screen all that kind of garbage out? Has Twitter become so saturated with insincere DM's so as not to make it worth getting an account?
  • nwjerseyliz
    Go to @OptMeOut and follow the instructions and that will eliminate a lot of the Auto-DMs. I hardly get any any more.
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